Scout-Katie was badly ridiculed from kindergarden through 7th grade. (same kids all through school and ADD traits made her an easy target) No matter how I tried to change things, it persisted. She had the lowest opinion of herself you could imagine. It didn't change until we moved and changed school districts. When she started a new school and there was no more bullying, she finally started feeling better about herself. It took about a year for her to bounce back. No amount of counseling or complaining to the school helped that issue. We had to move. Zoe-been a long time since I had a 5 year old. I think I remember that being a real power struggle time. They are like howling puppies. You have to set rules, stick to them and turn a deaf ear to the tantrums. I know it's hard. My Katie was a professional when it came to making me feel guilty for punishing her. She's going to make a great psychologist some day, either that or a con-artist.
I've talked to her teacher. I can't stand her teacher but thats beside the point. She says she's a very good student and she listens and does very well. She says she's a bit of a drama queen. A bit? My Kaitlyn? Absolutely not. That child is your #1 first rate drama queen. Last year at pre-school on her diploma the teacher wrote that she would most likely be an actress when she grew up. I know that money and posessions can't replace the other things and I'm not trying to do that. I just think that Kaitlyn thinks that because I take her and buy her things when she wants them but yet she can't get away with things at home and that type stuff is confusing her. I'm going to start setting a limit on how much money I spend on her and Gillian and the dogs every month. Yes, even including myself. We all have way to much. I know what you mean about the game boys. We have about 6 of the huge Barbie doll houses and castles around here. Who needs 6? I didn't even have 1 growing up and I made it just fine. It is a definite power struggle with her everyday.
Zoe, that kind of reminds me of my niece. Very obstinate child, never listened, absolutely terrorized the household since she was a tot. Her parents were at their wit's end. But when she came to my house, she was well behaved and responsible. My theory was that she was quite capable of acting nicely, she did at my house cause she knew she wouldn't get away with acting out. At home, she knew how to push buttons. Our kids know us better than we know ourselves and use it to their full advantage.
Zoeandtucker...I for one don't think that a child can be spoiled rotten just because they are well off..I think what makes a child spoiled rotten is when they are given things outside of materialist stuff...like they can have all the toys...games and a brand new car at 13...but I think it stems from the choices they make..if that's makes sense. My nephew is 7...he needs and wants for nothing....but he is not given "too" much...if you and your DH can offer your little girl all of the things that so many other families would love to..then go for it..I say continue to buy her whatever she wants (as long as she is not doing it out of a tantrum) manners are a must..obviously and I don't have to tell anyone that...you know..Scout had said that she picks and chooses her battles..In most cases I do too...I am VERY strict when it comes to respecting people...she HAS to say Yes Ma'am, No Sir..some of my friends think it's ridiculous...I was raised that way and it taught me to be a polite adult..I even go through Taco Bell drive through and say Yes Ma'am to the 18 year old behind the microphone...it's not a bad habit to have. It sucks..doesn't it Zoe??? And it does help to know other's are going through the same thing...just to think that I almost didn't even post for fear of being critcized or bashed, but it just goes to show how caring TP members are.
Kaitlyn is very well mannered. It just amazes me at how big of terror she can be at home. I also say thank you and yes m'am in the drive through. Dealing with this does suck. Its a horrible thing. My baby is 15 months. My husband is pushing for another baby. I look at the 15 month old and I'm like yeah okay. Than I look at the 5 yr. old and I'm like can't we just get another dog?
Well..I have done research on ADHD, I have been for weeks now (ever since DD's initial appt.) but I'll ask you all..as I do when I have pet related topics, because no matter how much research you find...it's always helpful hearing from other's What is ADHD to you all? Symptons? Ways you deal with it? Medication or other alternatives..what's out there? How has it affected your child..before and after? Do they grow out of it? I have already mentioned some of my DD's symptons...I guess it's just a waiting game for her appt.
Zoe, I am also guilty of spoiling my kids. One year I asked what they wanted for Chiristmas and they couldn't think of anything! What does that say about me?? I stopped supplying them with everything they wished for and now they have to do chores for their allowance and don't get one cent from me, otherwise. I can finally see it beginning to build character. I wish I had started it when they were 5.
My daughters don't have any food issues but attitude issues definitely. Makaylah will be 5 next month and she tries to pull the whole blackmail thing too. I have been the 'worstest mommy' so many times it is pathetic. I am thinking of changing my name. lol Caitlyn isn't bad, she will be 3 in February. She is learning about temper tantrums. (yeah!) Does anyone else have the same issues we do: Caitlyn listens to me great, hardly ever a problem but she will absolutely not do what her daddy says, she will flat out tell him 'no', or she just doesn't listen to him at all. With Makaylah, it is the opposite, She will listen to him immediately the first time, now with me, oh man, it is an all day battle for the simplest thing. It is getting so frustrating. Makaylah has been going through her lying stage...tons of fun. She got in trouble last night because the girls were in bed(bunkbeds, Makaylah on top) and they were being good until Makaylah spit on Caitlyn's head. I do not know what I am going to do with these kids! I do not have the same food issues as alot of you but my kids can be just as obnoxious as anyone elses! lol EDIT: By the way, I also have people tell me how great my kids are. blah blah blah.....don't you wish you could send them there for a week, sometimes?? I have been thinking about moving into the mall, there are tons of people there and I know she would behave.
Sorry I feel like I'm dominating the board, but I have to answer DogGonit. Katie was very hyper as a toddler, but very cute and intelligent. As she got older, I noticed I couldn't get her attention, we thought she had hearing problems. She was also a bit motor delayed. She could never complete a task. I was still dressing her in the morning as late as 4th grade because she would just stare at the floor and not do anything. She couldnt manage that many tasks in a row, she got "lost". Elementary school was a nightmare, she was too distracted to have friends, always "spacy", she was very impulsive, said inappropriate things (asked her teacher how much she made for a salary, once. lol) she could not remember or write down assignments, could not keep notes, couldn't read her own handwriting and on top of that had lots of emotional problems from the bullying. We did counseling and medications. Ritalin helped some but there was a lot of rebound problems when it wore off. She was twice as obstinate and her temper was unbearable. As the long acting types of medications came out, that problem went away. I don t regret putting her on meds, I think they helped,. She finally decided at l6 to try to go without and she's doing pretty well. She's learing, finally to compensate for her problems. The problems don't really go awaw, but the kid learns, with maturity, how to compensate. She still takes a low dose antidepressent as she tends to get very anxious at times and the medication really helps, according to her. Katie has always been so smart. All her school tests show that she's at the 98th percentile when it comes to intelligence and knowledge. She's a whiz kid. It heartbreaking when your really "smart" kid can't even pass a class.
Thats exactly my kids lalayla!!! I asked what they wanted and they have no idea!!!! Mine are spoiled too we have 5 computers, gameboys, all the stations, etc. My son which is going to be tested for ADHD has never had a friend of his own in his life. He has gotten 2 broken bones from being pushed down from annoying kids, he is a in your face constantly asking why, we have always called him the negotiator. He is very lazy, odd, dramatic, immature, etc. He was never a bad kid or aggressive he just is so impulsive he annoys everyone including adults. It was cute at 3-4 it's not cute at 9! He got suspended in kindergarten because for so long he was hugging and kissing people and the principle threaten if it continued he'd be suspended, well i had to threaten jail to him, then he stopped for awhile, and a few weeks later I get a call that he has been suspended and come get him ebcause he licked a girls hair. I dropped them off at school yesterday and heard the two patrols say oh no he's here. The kids on the bus last year said he was gay and went into detail of what gay men do. It was horrible, i just satrted driving them, everyone in the school knows him because of how he acts. Hopefully this testing tells us something! Nikki ps. my kids are very respectful and don't outh off but christopher is arguementative, and always wants his way, like he has to win games or he cries, everyone has to want to play the game he wants to or he doesn't play, etc.
This thread is getting way too long. I think we should start another one. But other than that I love to spoil Kaitlyn with whatever I can get her. but I don't want to over imbelish her. Me and hubby are expecting a very hefty settlement that will set kaitlyn for life but I'm afraid she will get the better of me in the future over it. That scares me. I am also afraid to put money in the stock market. Usually though Kaitlyn listens pretty well. She knows when she does something bad, but she is only three. Som I'm glad I am getting a grip on her attitude now and not whe she is 13.
Wow Lalayla, that sounds just like Christopher. I know if he is diagnoed the first med that adhd clinci tried is Ritlin, but they also give concerta which lasts all day? What med do you find has worked best? p.s. every male in my family uncle, nephew, cousin has been diagnosed with adhd so as children some as adults. Nikki
My Kaitlyn doesn't listen to me or her dad. Its total chaos in this house. The dogs play all day, run around, bark etc., Gillian is always playing, laughing, she's just the happiest little thing, Kaitlyn runs around screaming and yelling about how her dad and I are so horrible, how she hates her sister, how she hates the dogs, how if I won't do so and so she's never going to do so and so again. Its just unbelivable. I have a constant headache. All my husband does on the weekends is complain, complain, complain. I have to go pick her up from school in about 5 min. Let the fun begin. Especially if she has homework. Drama Queen story-I was trying to get her to clean her room this morning. She loves to play dress up. Well I buy her the really nice dress up clothes and shoes and such from the Disney Store or Warner Bros. because she likes it so much. Well I also bought her a nice chest that would slide up under her bed to keep her dress up things in and so they won't get ruined. I mean these are expensive dress up clothes, ya know? Well of course she plays dress up and leaves them all thrown in her floor. She has has dirty clothes everywhere and stuff. Now I know she's just 5 and I do most of the cleaning in there but she can put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket and she can put her dress up clothes away. Well I heard her in the bathroom. She's standing in there screaming and throwing the worst fit you ever heard. She's screaming very loudly. Just to let you know how loud, my house has 5 bedrooms all with its own bathroom upstairs. Her room is at the opposite end of the hall from mine. I was in my bathroom and she was in hers and I could hear her throwing a fit because she couldn't hang up her towel on the rack. Now of course she can put her towel on the rack she just didn't want to do it at the moment. She thought that screaming and crying and throwing a fit would be much better. Of course Gillian is in her room in between our rooms sleeping. Well that obviously woke her up. Than Katie starts screaming because all Gillian ever does is cry and scream. Here I am trying not to cry and scream to let Kaitlyn know that her crying and screaming is what woke up her sister. I go and hang up her towel because I've had it and I tell her to put her dress up clothes away. At noon (this was at 11) I went to get her for lunch. She hasn't touched another thing in her room and she's laying in her bed because she's just soooo tired she couldn't stand up another minute she said. Her room is still a disaster so after her homework today we'll go back to the cleaning the room episode. I'm off to get her now. Wish me luck on the rest of the day.
Layla..don't feel you are dominating the board! You're words are helpful...You have given some great advice and touched on a lot of other things to think about. :o) My DD was the same way when she was younger...I started teaching her Japanese at a very young age and she retained it well (at the time) she could speak back to us and I could tell her something in Japanese and she understood...she wanted to badly to learn all kinds of stuff...she was motivated and her mind would go 90 to nothing and never let down..I don't know what happened from when she was 5 - 9...but apparently we did something wrong in between there. When she was younger, starting in maybe the first grade..she HATED school..threw a fit when she had to go..faked being sick...the whole 9 yards..Now she LOVES school..although she gets frustrated with reading and writing..her math, science and social science grades give her that extra nudge to want to do well. Is ADD/ADHD something kids are born with? If it is something they can't control..does anyone know what happens with the brain? Sheesh...I am asking a lot of questions.
Nikki-Concerta was far better than Ritalin. Katie was on it from 7th grade until 10th grade. No ups and downs. No headaches. And it lasted long enough toget homework done. Ritalin also exacerbated her sleeping problems which she had since she was a tot, concerta did not. Zoe, if you want to nip this in the bud, take ALL her toys and priviledges away and make her earn them back,one at a time, with good behavior. Be prepared to put up with a monster for about 2 weeks, though. That's what I had to do and I still have to re do it from time to time, but it's very effective. And most important, don't let the kid psych you out. It's the really smart ones that can do that. Someday, she'll be able to put those smarts to good use.