Well, as much as I hate it, Missy is telling me that it is her time. Much too soon, if you ask me-- she would be 2 on April 12. Her head changed shapes once before, and now has drastically changed shapes again. One side is about an inch higher than the other, which says brain tumor to me and makes sense of the seizures. She has stopped eating for the most part, and wants to sleep and seemingly to be left alone to die. She doesn't show any interest in her tire or her rope. When Manson or Bundy want to play with her, she looks like she doesn't know what they are talking about, or sometimes like she might want to play, and then has a seizure. Manson and Bundy seem to know now, and they will just smell her and cock their heads and walk away.
She still will get up and show us love if we call her, and still asks to go outside. And if she hears my dad over here, she will come out and give him lots of licks on his face. That is actually the most enthusiasm we see from her these days. She quivers in her sleep and if she's up for any length of time (minutes) she has a seizure.
Even the seizures have changed. Hard to describe if you haven't seen one, but now instead of her whole body flopping, she turns her head toward her shoulder and opens her mouth wide and sideways and screams. We can bring her right out of it by petting her head and saying her name comfortingly. And instead of being confused, she comes right back to herself (well the herself that she is this month) and wags her tail and licks.
Please understand that this is not something that I have decided without much, much consideration. While I know I don't need anyone's approval, it would be difficult right now to cope with being second-guessed on this one. I don't ask everyone to agree with my decision, or "pat me on the back," but just that now wouldn't be the best time to talk to me about it being the wrong thing to do. I really don't want to do it even a little bit. But I truly believe it would be wrong not to. I don't have an appointment for her and I can't seem to make one. I might ask someone else to call...
So far I am doing okay, though as I actually write about it, it is painful and brings tears. I have known for a few days what must be done, but haven't actually said it or wrote it. Well, I kind of said it to Stacy without saying it. That's a nice thing about a super-close friend-- you don't really have to say anything for them to know what you're saying, if that makes sense. Now I'm rambling. Anyhow, I thought I would let you guys know. Sorry it's not pleasant news. I am going to miss that girl. Holly
shinyblackpit, I know that you have had it so rough this past year trying to cope with Missy's problems. Please know that you and your canine family are in our thoughts during this extremely difficult time.
It's never easy to let our pets go. No matter how much we prepare ourselves, it's still so gut wrenching.
I just tell myself and other people who going through this, that this is our last and ultimate gift we can give our pets when their quality of life has been diminished. They have been so loyal and trusting of us to do what is right for them, to be able to end their time with us as painless and with the dignity they so deserve.
Missy will be forever thankful and smile on you forever.
Shiny, you and Missy were so fortunate to have found each other. I can only imagine how tough this decision is for you, but I do feel you will continue to do what you have done all along, by doing the right thing for Missy.
Shiny, I know how much you love Missy it's so apparent in all you do for her and in the way you speak of her. Missy has led a happy life full of love you will always have the sweet memory of her. You have did all you can do for Missy she knows you love her letting her go will be just another gesture of your great love for her. God Bless you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear about your baby girl. I know it is a painful time for you now. I commend you for your courage to let her go rather then see her suffer. Your such a good person that lil angel is lucky you two found eachother or she might never have known such love. I will be praying for you both. *big hugs*
Shinyblackpit, my thoughts are with you and your family (2 legged and 4 legged). I can only imagine how you are feeling and how deeply it hurts. I hope you find some comfort writing and talking about it. God bless you and Missy.
oh god shiny i am so sorry for you and missy. i cry reading this. earlier this month, i made the same decision to put my kitty to peace, also much too young, at 4. she had lost her battle with lymphoma and i couldnt watch her like that anymore. she too, stopped eating and drinking and moving. it was too painful, adn i knew she was ready. i prayed for, adn begged her to go in her sleep but i was not that fortunate. i still had to make that decision. i hope that missy decides to go to sleep at home, and thats that.
it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i know what you are grappling with. the only advice i can offer is that you know in your heart when it is time. i didnt think that was true till it happened, but it's true. you know. and if you are evern considering it, it means its time. grappling with it is the hardest part of it, feeling like you have somehow failed, and being powerless to fix the prolems. that was the worst for me.
i will say, i had my vet do it and we brought her home, and on the ride home even, i felt a weight had been lifted. knowing she was no longer suffering allowed me to sleep better at night. after the shock wore off, it was easier to have her gone, at peace, then hanging around in her awful condition.
i wish you the best, and my thoughts are with you in this difficult time. give her all the love and treats and affection you can in these few days and hope she goes peacefully in her sleep. you will do the right thing i am sure; you dont want her to suffer anymore that she wants to.
the vet, in her attempt to make me feel better, told me how animals dont grieve, that burden is left to us. stay happy with her and enjoy the time you have however limited.
Even though you've only had her thank goodness it was you that loved her. My furries and I send you all our sincerest thoughts having been through this ourselves. May she know peace and health when she gets to rainbow bridge.
Shiny, I'm so sorry that you, Missy, and your family has to go through this. It's never easy or fair when they're this young. Spend the time you have left comforting her as much as you can. Give Missy a hug for me too.
I had my 11 year old rott p.t.s. last june because he had cancer in several places. He also had stopped eating and would just lay around all the time. In our area, we have an animal ambulance (from an emergency pet hospital in Irvine) that will make house calls to do this terrible thing. I had them come over and he was gently released from his pain in his own bed. I remember how sad it was but how peaceful it was for him. It didn't hurt him at all, it just gave him relief.
I understand what you are feeling. To do this for Missy is a very unselfish and courageous act. Be strong and let's hope that when she gets to her new home, she'll find my Harley.
***Edited By: MOLLYSMOM on 3/18/2005 4:29:38 PM*** Reason: spelling
My little niece had a dog that had to be PTS and she cried and cried. I told her how her dog was in heaven with the angels and that Jesus was waiting when Spot got there with a huge treat for him. that in Heaven the grass never dies and never has to be cut. That all dogs are happy and healthy. They never get sick and they never feel pain. They never run out of milk bones and all the angels play catch with the dogs every day. Our beloved pets never forget us and will be waiting patiently until it is our time to go and then we will see them again. it made her feel much better. I know your not 6 years old and no words could ease your pain but I do know that Missy will feel like a puppy again where she is going and one day you will be together again. You gave her so much love while she was here and she is a very lucky girl to have you. I feel so bad for you Holly but I know that she had more love in her few short years then most have in a lifetime.
Man SBP...I am so incredibly sorry for what you, your family and Missy are going through right now. I can't even imagine how painful this is for you..I know you love Missy SO much! You have done right by Missy through everything she has had to battle..you battled it with her and you are so dedicated not only to your very own dogs, but to the breed itself.
You ALL will be in my thoughts and prayers. Give Missy a hug for me.
shinyblackpit - My eyes are filled with tears after reading about Missy. I commend you for making the decision to stop her suffering. It is one of the hardest things to ever have to do, but just remember that you are releasing her from the pain. May you take comfort in the wonderful memories that you have of Missy and your family together.