OH! I'm so frustrated right now! My husband and I are living with my in-laws right now and they are doing everything they can to make us miserable. They are not animal people. My mother-inlaw has a house that looks like it stepped out of a magazine. She's a total perfectionist, and her yard is the same way. We were keeping our sweet german shepard mix "Jada" with a friend of mine who is a groomer, but she was having problems with a neighbor who said that she had too many dogs at her shop. (imagine that, a groomer with dogs at her shop!) Anyway, one of the problems was that she was taking all of her dogs to work with her and letting them play in the backyard. (she has 10) Finally the neighbor complained so much about the "smell" (which I can vouch for her there was hardley any smell. she scoops her poop twice daily and flushes it) that my friend decided not to bring so many dogs to work, and asked if I could find somewhere else to keep my dog. I asked my mother-inlaw if they would mind me keeping her at the house. They have a big yard and inclosed patio, plus I crate her at night and when I'm not at home. The main problem is she won't let me bring the dog in the house so I can't watch her every second of the day, and I don't want to crate her all day long, but she's a chewer and she's chewed up some things in the yard. I've tried so hard to keep her occupied with toys and bones, and really I would say considering the amount of chewing she does that the few things she's chewed are really not that big of a deal. If she could come in the house with me then it wouldn't even be a problem because I could watch her all the time. Last night my father-inlaw asked if I could find another place to keep her. Luckily my friend with the grooming shop aggreed that I could keep her there again, since the neighbor has quieted down a bit. But, it's just not fair to me. And I hate leaving her. I can't wait to move into our on place so we can do whatever we want (you know like let the dog sleep in the bed with you). Anyway, I just had to vent my frustration somewhere, and you guys all seem to be understanding. Please keep us in your thoughts!
I'm sorry, that must be frustrating. I can kind of understand their perspective though because it is there house and so you have to respect their wishes and feelings. I think considering the lifestyle they seem to have, they are being pretty generous by letting you have the dog in their yard. They shouldn't have to let the dog in the house as well.
You could maybe put an ad in the paper for a 'foster home' for your dog. People do that in my state when they are in the process of getting a home. They will have someone take the dog until they are able to take them and they pay them for it. Like maybe 50 dollars a month. That way your dog will have a place to stay while you are in this transition and you can call them whenever you want to come see the dog or take the dog to the park or something. And it's sort of win-win because you get to choose who you want the dog to stay with, so you can find a family that loves animals a lot and will play with him when you cannot be there. If he is good with kids, he could go to a home where there are children to play with him. (Just as long as the kids know that they are just 'babysitting' the dog so they are not disappointed when he leaves). Good luck!
Thanks. You are right though. I understand needing to respect their wishes since it is their home. And I understand not all people are like me in wanting animals around. And that's okay. It's just hard for me to understand people who don't like animals. I mean how can you not like animals? :) But thank you for your words of encouragement. Really taking her back to my friend won't be so bad, because she gave me a key to the place so I can go and see her and take her out anytime I want. And my friend is there all day long and she lets her out and gives her attention when she's there, so in a way it's like she's in a foster home. I do belong to an organization called Friends of Del Rio Animals. We are trying to get an animal shelter started here since all we have right now is the city pound. Right now our strays go into foster homes until they find permanant ones. I'm sure anyone from that group would be willing to keep her for me until we get settled. Anyway, thanks again!
i think many people have this problem. When ever my moms new husband comes to the house (i rent it from my mom), he is neg about my dog in the house, to the point of rudeness, he has even put them out of the house. and yes it is fustrating. Your inlaws prob already new about you dog when they agreed, so they knew what to expect.
Thanks Dallas, Yes, they did know. I told them she was a chewer, and that I would do everything in my ability to keep her from messing things up, but she's a dog, and when there is a nice soft flower bed to dig in and yummy flowers to eat...well...its hard to resist I guess! LOL. I know there are ways to teach them that it is unacceptable, I just don't know how except to provide lots of other options for her. Any suggestions? I know I can't scold her unless I catch her in the act, which almost never happens. When I go out there she's not anywhere near the flowerbed and she's wagging her tail saying, "hi mom! it's so good to see you! I don't who ate that flower that you're looking at."
Yes, you will have to grin and bear it. It may be bad, but I also think a little differently about people who do not like dogs. It doesn't keep me from liking that person but there is a little asterisk next to their name for me.
They are probably having a hard time with it also.
My sister has a problem with my mom and stepdad. They now live out of town but won't let her bring the dogs with her so she has to find someone to take care of them. She will not board them so if no friends are available to take care of them she won't go. They also make comments about the dog hair at her house but she loves dogs and that is the way it is.
I hope you will be able to move into your own home soon. Then it is your rules!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!1
My own mother isn't an animal lover like I am, and leaving Syrus outside just wasn't an option for me, so she let me keep him inside. Normally, he's an angel - no problems at all, but her house was sooooo big, that I think he got lost and had to poo on the floor.
My mother found it...and not knowing what it was...picked it up! (in her defense, it DID look like a piece of the handle from her pottery that was sitting nearby)
Needless to say, I try not to take Syrus in a situation like that anymore, he stays with friends. I understand my mom's point of view, so I can't complain. I feel super bad that she picked up poo.
Thanks everyone! Heatherom- that is too funny about your mom. I'm sure she didn't think it was very funny at the time though. Reminds me of a time when my cousins were visiting. They were all sleeping on the livingroom floor. We had an older cat, who didn't get around really well. Well, that particular night she got a piece of poo stuck on her bottom. It was dangling by a hair and she had to go around sniffing everyone who was sleeping. Mom was so afraid that the poo would fall off on top of someone! Animals! :) You see what I mean about loving them! :)
Well, I'm about to take my Jada back to stay with my friend this afternoon. :( But, we had a really good romp in the back yard and I'll see her in the morning. Thanks for everyone's support!
perfectionists are miserable people and they love making others who enjoy life as equally miserable as them.
perfectionists are uncomfortable people who are afraid to try something new and focus on one thing and one thing only. they cannot see fault within themselves and can only find fault with you.
i am dating a perfectionist. it is painful. i almost had it this weekend. we went away to see my mom 1 year after my dad died. she lives 700 miles away. he complained about the dogs until i couldn't stop crying and didn't want anything to do with him. i almost was going to tell him that i couldn't do this anymore.
we talked and i found that i was not letting him correct my dogs or make decisions with me on how the dogs are cared for or how they are to behave.
you are in a hard situation. you might want to think about moving or talking to her about the rules.
Well, let me tell you she's a miserable person, but this is her house so I have to follow her rules. It's really sad. But, right now we are stuck in rut, because we are waiting to move into my husband's grandfather's house. We can't move in until repairs are finished (such as installing a new toilet to name one). And, we can't move into an apartment because we are still paying a mortgage on our house which is 3 hours away and we can't afford to live anywhere else. We had to move here because of my husband's job. Hopefully we'll be out of here soon, and hopefully our house will sell soon too.