Catholic Parrots A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
What do they say?" the priest inquired.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment. You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. "Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!"
LOL LOL LOL!!!!!! Too funny!! My friend used to have a parrot. When the cat would walk by the parrot would look at the cat and say, "D@#$ cat." It was so funny!
Here's another joke for you: There was a family looking for a family pet. They were a very devout baptist family and wanted to make sure that they got a baptist dog. So they looked around and found an add in the paper and went to see the dog. When they got there they explained that they wanted a good baptist dog. The guy said, oh, he's very devout, in fact he can find the 23rd Psalm if you ask him. So the owner asked him and sure enough he turned to the 23rd Psalm. The buyer said, that's great. We'll take him.
A few months later some the baptist family had some friends over for dinner. The friends commented on how well trained the dog was as by this time he could find any scripture in the Bible. Then one of the friends asked, does he do any regular dog tricks? The owner said, well, I don't know. Lets find out. So the owner said, "Dog, heel." And the dog stood up on its hind legs, placed his paws on the guys head and immediately the wife cried out, "OH no! We got a Pentacostal!"
***Edited By: gingerspice on 7/29/2005 11:17:45 PM*** Reason: edit
we had a african grey at work as a hospital pet. whenever we were struggling with a dog or cat the darn bird knew exactly what to say. she would say no no or bad dog or stop it !! lol she was too darn funny. i wish she were back with us.
***Edited By: scout1 on 7/29/2005 11:46:48 PM*** Reason: add
Our African Grey says "Shadow (our shetland sheepdog) come here" or "Nicky (our wirehaired dachshund) stopped it" or he says "Nicky back back" or he says "Smoky (himself) be quiet" or "Smoky shut up", after he made a bunch of noise. This is always funny, when he tells himself to shut up.
I liked both of your jokes. They are good.
***Edited By: dachshund on 7/30/2005 7:49:55 AM*** Reason: add
Lol, scout. African greys are so beautiful. This particular friend of mine also had an African grey. They got her from someone else. She had a pretty dirty mouth on her. She was pretty mean, but beautiful anyway.