It was so strange on Thursday, i had to go to my Prestons gromers. I sell her Avon and had to deliver her stuff, bailey my 5 year old also came with me. When we pulled up she said, oh are we picking up Preston now...My heart broke i had to tell her again that preston Died and his not coming back. Poor thing she does not understand, her And Preston were never apart. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v713/juliehsd/IM000802.jpg
Maybe it time to get her another puppy that looks like him or move on with another puppy. Explain to her that Preston went to heaven last time he fell asleep, and the good Lord wanted HER to have the new puppy.
Life and Death are hard to explain but she will understand about GOD NEEDING him up there in heaven with Him.
I know because I lost my beloved Peanut and have 2 children to explain this to.
was she able to see preston when he died and take part in the final arrangements for him ? i have always allowed my son to be there during the euthanasias and final arrangements/goodbyes since our first dog died when he was 3. i guess because of that he has never questioned that they would be returning.
is there a grave she could visit to help her understand the finality of it ? has she been thru this with a family member that you can relate the two together ?
That is one of the saddest things I have heard in a long time julie!
I have no idea how to help her to understand the permanance of it all, but i just wanted to offer you my sincerest apologizes that your family has to go through this awful thing.
Five is an awfully magical age, and soon enough she will be woken up to the reality that life is not as fun as it appears to be through five year old eyes. I just say keep at it, keep on trying to help her understand the same way you have been.
I know it can be hard to have to repeat over and over again because when my cousin Gary died from cancer we had to take my grandmother who is now 94 and her memory is not very good these days. So she kept asking me "Which one of the boys passed away?" and I had to keep on saying "Gary died gram" over and over. It was like a nightmare and I felt like loosing it myself.
I was lucky because when I brought my nephew to the funeral he didn't even know my cousin. I explained to him "Sean, do you know why we are here today?" and he said "Yes, we are having a funeral for my cousin." I said "Do you know what a funeral is?" he said "no.." and I told him "Our cousin died because he got very sick and his body stopped working the right way. He is in that box over there with the flowers on it, it is called a coffin. We are all here to say goodbye to him and put him to rest forever because when people die, some people choose to get put into a coffin and buried in the ground."
When I asked him if he understood then he said "Yes, I miss my cousin...." That hit me, he had never met Gary and he understood he would NEVER know him. God I remember that day like it was yesterday and that was about 3 years ago.
I wish my boyfriend had been more exposed to death as a child. He has never been to a funeral. I have a large family I believe there was 9 kids in my mothers family. My mother herself has five. That is a heck of alot of cousins and aunt and uncles. I myself had alot of pets growing up and that helped too.
I wish you and your family well, and I hope this heartache eases over time for all of you.
We got a new puppy 6 days before Preston died. We did not know this was going to happen but at least i know those 6 days Preston had so much fun playing with the new puppy. Bailey still wants her preston back, she and him were so close he would lay with her all day and just really loved her. The puppy just wants to play and cant sit still.She was not home when he had his heart attackwhich im so happy about, i was a mess and both my husband and i tried CPR on him so im glade she did not see that. We did plant a tree for him, but she still does not understand. She did cry when we told her and she would say i really miss Preston.It just the last couple of weeks she has started to talk about him coming back.I really would like anouther Doberman, i miss him so much. This may sound silly but there is such a big chunk of my heart gone. I think getting anouther one would help, but every time i see one i get upset and think about my Preston.
Well..... man. You are strong. I don't have kids. You know, I think if I had a child I would spend the majority of my time crying....honestly. I left Beulah (the dog) at the groomers for the first time and she looked at me so sad I started crying! LOL, what a dope!!! So. uh... yeah..... death huh? I'm at a loss. You will do what is right, and she will understand. In time.
I am sorry about your loss... I started another topic about dobermans where I hope you share some interesting and good memories. Good luck.
Sorry for the double post before, this web site is strange today. I guess i should add that my preston passed aaway on April 27th.Just to give you an idea of how long my little girl has been holding this in.
Ahhh, that so sad, I would explain about the heaven, and when Preston dies he goes up into the sky to a place called Heaven and lives there forever to watch over us everyday, so he can't come back. oh, that was so sad...That is a really cute picture, I would blow that one up for her. Sue My niece is 5 and she understands death, but I can't remember what we told her. My Dad died 3 years ago, and about a year and a half ago she asked where he was, and we told her and she cried like it just happened. So she new he wasn't comeing back. Now she finds pictures of him and has to ask "Is this Him?" She barely remembers.
***Edited By: sue on 9/18/2005 6:41:53 PM*** Reason: rthjesrgt
Tell her Preston crossed the magical rainbow bridge in his sleep, and is now at a wonderfull field with lots of flower, the sun is always shinning, and it's always perfect there. Tell her he will be staying there for a very long time, but someday, many, many years from now, they will be reunited.
awww, so sorry for your loss. Your post made me cry a little. Such a beautiful dog. I don't think there is a way to make your daughter understand right now. Its a beautiful thing that she misses him. Death is something no matter how old you get you never understand. However learning to cope with loss, which is what she is doing, will prepare her for life. The lessons she is learning now, how to miss and to mourn but not forget are preparing her for when a sibling, parent, grandparent or close friend die. He was her life friend and gave her the greatest gift in his death. I think this is the best reason to give children pets.
Julieh it must be heartbreaking for you. One of the hardest euthanasias I ever helped with there was a young boy with the family and he was just screaming his head off. The mother finally had to take him outside so that we could do what needed to be done. I felt so bad for the little boy. After spending the weekend with my 5 year old niece and seeing her interact with our dog I don't know how I would ever manage her knowing that Jada had died. I think you are probably best judge of Baily's understanding. I think that different kids learn about things like that in different stages. I wish I had more advice to you. I just wanted to offer my condolences and wish you well in this situation. Preston was a very handsome boy! Sounds like he had a wonderful life. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there and know that we are all thinking about you and your family.
Yes he is a red dobie, he was very happy. Right before he left us he was playing not even 5 mins before. It does he to know that he was very happy and he had no pain.His heart attack was very quick and he did die instant, its hard to think of it but im happy he did not suffer.
This is a tough one... I can tell you what we do for all our loved one that have passed (both people and pets). I would think at 5 your daughter has the concept of "the heaven above" What we do is simple and silly but it works...
Buy some helium (sp) balloons more than 1 - 1 for every member of the family and a few extras. Then you take permanent markers and write a message to the one that has passed - or draw pictures - just whaterve that you want and then you release the balloons to the heavens - so your missed loved one can recieve your message of love. This is a process that we have done more times than one - for the same person or pet.
I know it sound silly but it works. It does help me as well....
I have to agree that you may need another Dobie... Not to replace your loss but to fill your void....
Good luck nomatter what you decide my prayers are with you,..
loveschnauzers Thats a great idea im going to do that today, she was just asking me agagin this morning how many days has preston been dead. She has no idea of time but she knows its been to long. She spent the night away this weekend and she was just saying she tried when she went to bed at her friend as she does miss him. Boy its hard not to talk to her with out crying as we all miss him. I love the ballon idea and no its not silly at all.