A breastfeeding mother has legal rights to nurse in public places. An employee cannot ask you to leave the resturant or any other place for that matter. So if you took it to court you could win. You could also do a sit in with nursing mothers at that resturant!! That would sure get some attention! I'm glad that your wife is nursing and I'm glad that you stood up for her. It is one of the most natural things in the world, and the only food that changes for the needs of the baby.
It just seems to me if they want to be respected by the public, then they in turn should respect the public back.. if in the instance there -is- someone who is offended.. find a happy medium. It's that simple. I, myself, i'm not offended by public breast feeding in the least.. it's natural, it happens. But when there are other children around, the parents have every right to speak up.
Before you contact an attorney, do give a call to La Leche League. They may even help you with attorney fees and the definitely have many resources to fight this kind of thing; it's something they have done many times.
When I breastfed (and I did it whenever the baby was hungry, since that is how they ate) the nurses said that I should NOT use a bottle at all, or even a pacifier, because the technique the baby uses to get the milk is different and it will confuse him. Anyone who has nursed knows that babies are not born knowing how to do it. And it hurts when they do it wrong!
The one who was inappropriate was not Mrs. Gunny, but the hillbilly lady and the restaurant management. Gunny was quite the classy gentleman to take her outside and avoid a scene.
Tell us what restaurant it was and we can write polite but opposing letters. It angers me that a restaurant would do that.
Halosfire- Not to be mean and I don't know you, but by your comments if you are a mother I highly doubt that you breastfed. The things you mentioned are just not recommended. When you have a newborn baby you are NOT supposed to give them ANY bottle at all if you can help it.
Mom has to establish her milk and the baby has to 'learn to nurse' and a bottle will hinder that. It is more difficult to get mile out of a breast a lot of times at first than out of a bottle. Bottles can 'spoil' babies so they don't want to nurse. That is one of the reasons they don't recommend it.
I think baby needing to eat trumps child being offended at a baby beneath a blanket. If kids are that sensitive I hope they don't have tv, and maybe they shouldn't go out to eat.
If the breast was not exposed than what is offensive? I have HUGE boobs and when I was young I liked to show them off. I am SURE kids got way more of an eyeful in my 'cleavage shirts' than Gunny's poor wife was showing feeding that baby. No one ever said a thing to me or my boobs.
Are women this insecure and catty? (And I say women because it is the women in this situation who seem to be throwing big screaming fits about even the thought of a breast where you are)
If you are jealous because you don't have nice breasts, save up and buy a pair... or ask santa. If the main concern is husbands seeing, you need to go talk to Dr. Phil because breast feeding especially with a new mother, is a beautiful thing. The person who finds it sexual or nasty needs their head examined. Is it the bond that is only shared between mother and child that is so harsh and offensive to a jealous stranger? I don't get it.
Traumma, I agree with you. Society has made the breast a slutty weapon, when this is what nature intended them for. It is exteremly unfortunate and down right sad.
Bottom line, if you find something truly offends you this deeply and in such a strong manner, you need to dig deep down and figure out why that is. It is your problem. Don't make the rest of us have to sit here and listen to your idiotic rants because you look stupid and we don't want to hear it.
Gunny, congratulations with Kelly and don't let a few dummies get you down. The bulk of society quietly minds their business and is too laid back to waste time getting upset about something so stupid. (and by stupid I mean over thinking and letting yourself become offended. Not the act of your son eating lol)
Definitely make an example of this place. They were in the wrong.
This is what I find so humerous about this forum .If some one doesn't agree with the clique said person gets bashed . Halo has a very valid point that I agree with.Mrs Gunny if not going to the rest room then maybe should've went to the car fed the baby then come back in to eat. Respect others around you.
If my husband had taken a lady out side to fight with her ,I would've been mighty pissed at him.He's a man she's a woman. Give me a break.We are such a sue happy society ,let it go. Those people in the restaurant have rights .People felt uncomfortable .I think that should be respected.
I'm not afraid in the least to speak my mind to a bunch of woman.I'm not part of the click and never will be.
Come on bring it on.It's a heated debate.I know you'll have lots to say to this.I believe in respect to others around you.
Okay rednosered....you are intitled to your opinion just like everyone else. In a debate people don't agree that's why it's a debate.
I understand that some people find breatfeeding offensive. The fact is the restaurant had other alternatives than to ask the Gunnys to leave. They could have moved them to a different table or the offended lady to a different table. It was unfair to ask the Gunnys to leave. The restaurant should answer for that one way or another.
I believe many people see something sexual about breastfeeding. I breastfed both of my children. My neighbors could not believe I would consider it as they thought it was gross. My one neighbor even asked me if breastfeeding was anything like....well....you know....oher things. I was shocked! Breastfeeding your child is nothing like anything. It is a loving and bonding experience that every new mother should have a chance to share. Should they choose to.
I can't see why any woman would be concerned about her children's minds being "tainted" by watching a woman breastfeed, I'm more concerned about the 12 year old girls who are allowed to run around with their belly's hanging out, and short skirt that show hints of their panties! Morgan watched me breastfeed Makenzie for 5 months, she sked lots of questions, and at 3 yrs old was very mature about the situation. We were recently at a pizza place having dinner and Morgan spotted a breastfeeding mom, she quietly looked at me and whispered "mommy, she's feeding her baby; right?" I would teach my son the same way if I had one. Everyone wants to talk about respect here, respect others in the restraunt, respect the children in the restraunt.....well what about this week old baby who is hungry? Where is his respect? Let's just shoo him off to a bathroom to eat, or a cramped car. When my girls were that young they would suckle for about 10 minutes before they passed out. So what is 10 minutes of discomfort to anyone? Like someone said about instant leaking when any baby cries, what about respect for the mother? There is nothing more uncomfortable than to have a soping wet target right on your shirt, especially when you're trying to have a nice dinner. I don't know about anyone else, but when I was breastfeeding my girls we had to be in just the right position, and I was always concerned that one of them would suffocate on my breast lol seriously though, so position was important to me, and doing that in a car? No way! If it truly makes people uncomfortable then a retraunt which is willing to throw out a breastfeeding mother needs to re-think their morals, they'll cater to smokers, and non-smokers right? Well why not cater to mothers who choose to breastfeed their children? Heck in a few more years you won't be able to smoke in any restraunt in any state, so lets do something with all these smoking sections that will be obsolete. I would most definatly be talking to news media, and a lawyer. Sue happy? No, but an infant has rights to!
Halosfire - So... if someone is offended... then a compromise should be met. Simple as that right? I was at a restaurant the other day and observed a family eating their dinner, one of the members of the family was mentally retarded and had difficulty eating in a neat manner. He ate with his mouth open, he made noises and he was loud. Quite honestly - it was hard to look at him while he was eating....
What if someone had been offended by him? Should he have been asked to leave? Should he have to go out to his car to eat? Never go to a restaurant?
#1 - people need to start getting offended about the RIGHT things... people being raped, kids being abused, gangs, the "dumbing down of America", young girls dressing like 30 year old women...
#2 - people need to STOP getting offended about things that are natural and beautiful... like breastfeeding.
#3 - people need to start educating themselves before they open their mouth to voice their "offense" over something that they don't know anything about...
Hey Red, I wouldn't have been happy about a man going outside to FIGHT a woman, but I admire Gunny for taking her outside to talk to her (and what he said was not impolite and he even let her finish cussing him before he said anything at all).
It was the polite thing to do to take it outside so that it did not interrupt the meals of everyone in the place when this lady (probably not so quietly) cussed out Gunny. Not to mention there was no reason to have that conversation in front of all the patrons AND Mrs. Gunny, who I'm sure had no idea that anyone would have a problem with her feeding her child and is probably not accustomed to causing giant loud ruckus in restaurants.
Next part isn't just for Red, it's for whoever.. my thoughts..
I don't even like to GO in public restrooms and when I do I won't sit on the seat. I would never eat or feed my child in there, and why should anyone be asked to?
Being offended at a baby nursing from a breast is like being offended because someone is using their fingers to pick up their fork. That is what they are MADE for, and why they produce milk.
I commend you and your wife handling it like you did. What I would do is write a Letter to the Editor for you local paper making sure you mentioned what happened and at what restaurant. There are laws on the books in most states that are supposed to stop this kind of disrcimination. Unfortunately there are many closed minded people out there.
I bfed both of my children and never had any problems but I do know people who have.
All I can say is I hope that woman in the restaurant never comes for a visit to Ontario Canada. Not only is it completely acceptable to breastfeed in public...it is actually LEGAL (since 1996) for ANY woman to go topless in a public place:)
The place is a restaurant -- a place for eating. Asking someone to remove themselves from their seat so that a member of their party can eat doesn't make much sense. Depending on the infant and the experience level of the mother, the whole process can be over before anyone else knows it is happening.
Being non-confrontational myself, I would assume that the restaurant employee wasn't up for a fight, and asked the more civil patrons to leave. Wrong, but clearly the path of least resistence.
I agree that publicity is the best way to go. Education for all parties involved is the best way to address this issue. Perhaps the restaurant has no policy or employee training in this area.
I have no problem with women breast feeding in public.. BUT, I do believe there are some public places where it is inappropriate. Example; If I'm paying a $100 plus per person at a posh restaurant, I shouldn't have to see a woman breast feeding her child at the next table. People dine at high end restaurants for the whole package.. excellent food prepared by a renowned chef, ambiance, and fantastic service. IMO breast feeding a baby would be totally inappropriate in this situation.
SWWesties, I'd go as far as to say that nobody should BRING a baby or even a young child to a posh $100 per plate kind of place. And I have children and love children. But if I go to a place like that, I get a babysitter.
When I see a women breastfeeding her child in a public place I smile inside so deeply that sometimes it comes out on my face. It helps me to feel that we haven't yet loss the battle of rights and choice to politics and "freedom of speech". I think what happened to your wife and you is sad really...it shows just how badly our system of rights in this country is...that one persons freedom of speech affected your freedom of choice.
And if more people would see this as an opportunity to introduce there children to a very natural process and not to been seen as volgar or wrong...things wouldn't be the way they are. When my children catch eye of it, and ask me about it I use it as an opportunity to help them understand the cycle of life and so forth.
To hide it is to say that you're ashamed of it....and you shouldn't be. That lady was out of line.
And I agree, I think society has twisted the "breast" into a more sexual symbol than a natural one.
Just add this to the list of nonsense going on in this country.
Matter of fact there is a big debate going on about a parenting magazine that's cover page has a picture of a breast and a baby feeding. Rediculous.......
Sometimes I absolutely hate this country...sorry but I do.