i don't know if you guys will find these as funny as i do. but i swear i can relate to each one as we deal with people like this on a daily basis.
1. do not make an appointment. just walk in because they are going to be there anyway. demand to be seen immediately ! beome irate if you have to wait for anyone who was there ahead of you. act really surprised that an appointment would even be required, as if you have never been to a dr. yourself.
2. bring your children, your neighbors children. if you have no children borrow some from a friend. toddlers who have been walking for less than a year are best. if they are talking, let them run around all over the hospital to ask everyone on the staff questions.
3. place your pet on the exam table then sit down. please do not hold it. emphasize that "it won;t jump down !" and "it NEVER bites" !. if your pet does act aggressively towards a staff member, do not make attempts to restrain it. if you have a retractable leash, make sure not to lock it so that you have even less control over your pet.
4. if you have a concern, yell at the receptionist, then when you see the doctor, be swweet as possible. if your dog leaves feces on the ground, act as if you have never had to pick up after your own dog and the idea of bringing your own plastic baggies for cleanup is a novelty.
5. as you leave, let your dog urinate on any stationary object until you get outside. and dont tell anyone.
6. please, tell us if there is a problem, but wait at least 3 weeks to do so. remember that continous diarrhea for 4 weeks or more is considered "an emergency situation!" this is especially true at closing time on weekends.
7. two months after you were supposed to come back for a recheck, call for an appointment and complain that the problem wasn't solved the first time !
8 when leaving your pet for boarding or any other procedures, never tell anyone in the office that you have changed your phone number since your last visit.
9. never say anything important until the dr. has put the stethoscope in their ears.
10. always say "cost is not important! just save my pet!" until you get the bill. then deny that you said it was OK to treat your pet. make a big fuss over every item even though you are not going to pay anyway.
11. always bring your checkbook without any checks in it, or leave home without your wallet. only carry hundred dollar bills when you do bring it, especially if you are only buying one can of food.
12. if you are a first time client, especially a "walk-in", act really surprised that 1) we even charge anything and 2) expect payment upon service.
13. if possible, always send your pet to the clinic with your children under the age of 18, or your husband, with no money or credit cards. never tell them why they are bringing the pet in.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
That is funny. But I cant do the first one. My vet does not make appointments. He sees patients on a first come first serve ( unless a triage situation comes in). I show up outside his door at 7:30 so I can be seen first when they open at 8. Otherwise, I cant complain about a wait. :)You need to add to the one about the toddler....
"allow accompanying children to throw tantrums, scream, fight or whine without correction. If they other customers have a problem they can leave. It will get you in the exam room sooner. Also, do not watch young children to make sure they are not destroying things. They should have the waiting room child proof since so many people in this world have children. "
I can just imagine what you go through everyday. I actually had #3 happen to me last week. The first time I took Max in the new tech. put him on the raising table where they weigh them too, and walked out and left him. I jumped up because I knew he was going to come off there. It sits up higher than the regular exam table. I guess she just didn't think and almost give me a heart attack.
I really like this. Actually, since I just moved, the vet I go doesn't take appointments, you just walk in and wait. It takes the same amount or less time than if you make an appointment, which is nice. I found this very humurous though.
Scout - Yeah....he does walk in people in the morning. He quits seeing patients about 11. He does all of his surgeries from 11-3. He then will see patients again in the afternoon time permitting. If you want to go see him in the afternoon, you call and find out what time he is seeing patients again. MY vet is REALLY laid back. The first time I took my puppies to him to look at, he said a word in the exam room that I did not expect. Not that I approve of cursing, but I liked his style of "I am who I am... take me or leave me". He was honest and up front with me and told me. He told me things I liked and things I didnt want to hear. He did not rush through the appointment either. I liked that he did not sugar coat his feelings about things. He also was very reasonable on the price and seemed to really care about the animals rather than just trying to get in as many patients as possible.
My only drawback is...... since he does not rush you through your appointment.... if you come in late in the afternoon, you might have to wait an hour or 2 to see him. That kinda sucks.... but I appreciate it when I am in the exam room... so I just suck it up. :)
That and he keeps the a/c on I think 20 degrees. I swear my fingers almost turned blue....lol
Whew, I'm not guilty of any of "all of the above" but I can think of one that could be added to the list; a "pet" peeve of mine (pun intended) as a patient's "mom". How 'bout adding:
"Be sure to let your kennel cough infected, flea infested, worm infested, mange infected, ringworm infected (add any "infected/infested" here) doggie wander around trying to lick & sniff all the other "patients" (&/or young children) in the waiting room."