8AM - Dog food my favorite thing 9:30 AM - a car ride my favorite thing 10:30AM - Got petted! My favorite thing. 1200PM - Lunch - My Favorite thing 1PM - Played in the yard - My Favorite thing 3PM - Wagged my tail 5PM - Milk Bones Mmmmmm 7PM - Got to play Ball 8PM - WOW watched TV with the people 1100 - Sleeping on the bed my favorite thing.
A Cats Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nugget. Although I make my contempt for rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demostrates what I am capable of doing. However they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I was, Basterds!
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow. But at the top of the stairs I am convinced the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems more then willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be a informant. I observe him talking with the captors on a regular basis. I am certain he reports my every move. My captors have arranged a protective custody for him in an elevated cell. He is safe for now.....for now!