Hi, I am new here. My adorable 8 lb pekepoo might not live and I simply cannot cope with the concept of putting him to sleep. He's been in the hospital for 10 out of the last 14 days and had three surgeries. So far I'm up to around $10,000. I just can't lose him. He had a perineal hernia that they thought they repaired - surgeries one and two. Then I brought him home and within 72 hours had to take him back, as he stopped urinating. The vet was ready to give up and mentioned the cost and that he had a hole in his bladder with urine leaking into his abdomen. I could not give up so I gave the green light to go ahead with the third surgery. It turns out that 75% of his bladder was dead but NOT the most critical area. Now it's a waiting game to see if after four more days on a catheter he will go potty on his own without the catheter. If not, I lose him and then must face doing the single hardest thing in my life. I just cannot bear this, but I won't have a choice. If that moment comes, I want him home with me and I've located a nice vet who will do that.
Now, I feel like I am just going to lose my mind in this. The vet told ME that I needed some rest. My dog's attitude is good and I don't know who this is harder for, him or me. At any rate, I am a mess and falling apart. It feels like my throat is swelling up. All I can think about is this. This voice keeps telling me I will have to put him to sleep if things don't go right and then screaming but I cannot! I'm just in tears writing this. I know I have to be strong but I wasn't prepared for this. It all happened so quickly and I am just not ready to lose him. He's only 8 1/2. Can someone help me get strong please?
I am so very sorry about your baby. I have been in your shoes before, spent thousands of dollars very desperately trying to save the life of our beagle. I never thought I would have what it takes to take her in and have her put down when the time came but then when she began to really suffer in the end and her pain was so obvious it became easier for me to do it because I loved that dog too much to be able to see her suffer like she was. That alone gave me the strength to do what I had to do. I put my own feelings aside and thought about hers. My girl was not even a year old. It's horrible to go thru something like this and nothing really makes it easier to deal with. But we do get thru these things. My girl has been gone 6 years and just talking about her now puts a little sting in my heart. But I remember her well and much I loved her and how much she made us smile. That's the part I prefer to dwell on. I hope things go well for yours. Hang in there.
Thank you. I am so incredibly sad right now. I have no children nor do I have much support and I've dealt with depression for years. Throughout it all, the one constant has been my baby bear - the only thing in the world capable of making me smile when nothing can. He is the light of my life and I can't bear to see it extinguished. I know he's not going to live forever, but not more than a few weeks ago I told him he'd live to be 20, as he has so much puppy in him. This is just breaking my heart. When I think that in four or five days that decision could have to be made...
If he comes home and I have more time with him, I will treasure every single moment. I just want more time.
I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time. I hope that this third operation is what fixes your little one. I know he is very precious to you, and you to him. You must be strong for him, and we are sending you all of our positive energy to get through this.
Thank you maltipoo. Teddy is a pekepoo and my last little dog that died was a Maltese. That happened so fast and final (accidental thing). In some ways, although I went into shock and became a complete mess, it was easier than what I'm dealing with now.
I went to see Teddy tonight and he looked sort of beaten down and maybe sad. In his little world I am sure he cannot understand why they keep cutting him open and sticking needles in him. I am second guessing my decision to have done all of this stuff, yet I know had I not, I would have never forgiven myself. He was/is fighting to live. How could I not fight for him?
If it's time I will let him go. I will know in four or five days. Then I'll bring him home and he can go to sleep here. I know it sounds crazy, but I want his spirit around me and not left behind in some hospital. When my other dog Tiffany died (it was in my pool) there were many strange occurrences following that. That pool light turned on and off by itself a half a dozen times. One night I saw a hovering white mist right over it. Teddy would jump when outside at something not there. They live on.