Come on, NoDog, this is me we are talking about here! Nothing about this wedding is "the norm" and it is absolutely a reflection of us. Wording just happens to be one of my things I don't know about life some days, but I sure am complicated lol
Thanks for the solid input folks, here's the general idea of what I have so far. Some of the meat and potatoes has been replaced for all intesive stalker purposes and what have you, plus our guest list is strictly 50!
The honor of your presence is requested. pope1982 and mrpope1982 celebrate the beginning of our new life together as we are joined as husband and wife.
The harmony of love meets with the melody of life surrounded by the captivating (I am also seriously considering tranquil thinking of the other musical aspects of the rest of the text) sights and songs of the majestic sea Sunday, the first of March Two thousand and nine at seven o'clock in the evening via The Big Fancy Aquarium In Question. Cocktails, intimate seated dining and merriment will follow. A once in a lifetime opportunity to admire our charming aquarium prior to the ceremony -free of charge- is encouraged. If so desired, please instead arrive a quarter to six. We ask all of our guests to please report to the staff entrance upon arrival.
I'm much more a cut-to-the-chase kind of person. I think you need to keep in mind that people will have to refer back to the invitation multiple times to confirm the little details. Your prose might be appreciated the first time they read it, but it might get a little annoying if they have to keep wading through it confirm the important instructions. That's why I'd suggest breaking the invitation up into the the "pretty" section and the "just the facts" section. Here's my suggestion:
Join us as we celebrate the beginning of our new life as husband and wife. The harmony of love meets with the melody of life surrounded by the captivating sights and songs of the majestic sea.
The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of pope1982 and mrpope1982 On Sunday, March first Two thousand and nine at seven o'clock in the evening Baltimore Aquarium
Cocktails and seated dining follow. Please report to the staff entrance on arrival. Guests may tour the aquarium prior to the ceremony free of charge.
Oh, yeah -- I replaced "honor of your presence" with "pleasure of your company" because I'm a slave to etiquette.
I like "the pleasure of your company" NoDog, I am going to use that suggestion admittedly, I haven't paid much attention to that part Thank you, it would have been easy to overlook.
"The harmony of love meets with the melody of life intertwined innermost a labyrinth of captivating images and compositions of the tranquil sea"
I managed to pull off both of the words I really liked in this latest version.
I want people to look at these and enjoy them when they look at them for years to follow. I have no idea who will see these. They can jot the cliff notes version if they are that picky, they are going to have to because I know what I want and I am about this close to telling everyone to take a hike instead of trying my best to accommodate our most high maintenance relatives lol
With this particular kit, I have exactly one shot to get all that information to flow the best I can, without making it look amateur, all the while trying to keep in focus what our day is all about. Sure, I have a small RSVP card to print out also, but it consists of about 4 short lines and I really need them to mark down how many they intend on bringing as well as how many guests under 21.
This is a party I would be excited to go to, I want it to be that for our friends and relatives.
Beautiful wording except I'd replace "innermost" with "within." Although I love alliteration, "within" just seems to flow better to my ear. What do you think about replacing "compositions" with "medleys"?
Hi Pope, I hope you're not fed up with other ideas. I know you want this to be perfect, and when I read your last version, I thought the syntax could be a little better. You have a phrase, and the 2 adjectives, and then the final phrasing. Just something to think about....
The harmony of love meets with the melody of life, profoundly intertwined with the kaleidoscopic images of the tranquil sea.
I agree with Pen about the need to tweak the syntax; the diction is lovely but the sentence reads choppy, like you are trying to stuff too many words into one sentance. I would flip the description of the venue with the annoucement of the occasion. Some suggestions:
Within the innermost chamber of the enigmatic sea, the harmony of love will merge with the engaging melody of life.
Amongst the captivating imagery and tranquil serenades of the eternal sea, the harmony of love unites with the melody of life.
The serene imagery of the tranquil sea bears witness to the harmony of love merging with the melody of life.
The serenade of the tranquil sea accompanies the harmony of love as it merges with the melody of life.
The innermost labyrinth of the eternal sea embraces the harmony of love as it begins its accompaniment with the melody of life.
As the captivating imagery of the etheral sea complements its tranquil serenade, so does the engaging melody of life enhance the enigmatic harmony of love.