please bare with me haha. I need your help and advice, I don't know what to do, I really like him!
Theres this boy named Ryan, He's a senior and I'm a junior. He liked me, and we were facebook messaging, then it turned into pranking eachothers facebook farmville and then into texting. So were texting, this is middle of september and he asks me if I want to go out with him on a date and so I said yes. So he was like ok I'll plan stuff for the week and let u know what I come up with. We'll it starts getting closer to the date I realize I don't know him well enough at the time, so I start panicking and tell him I can't go because my brother is coming into town and I tell him I just wanna be friends. Then he proceeds to ask me If I want to go to homecoming with him, I said Yes! So I have this worry in my mind that I dont want to fall for him or what if someone else comes along, I dont want to make anything official and hurt him in the end. But then I go to fridays football game with him, I go to homecoming with him and I realize that I love being with him. I may have made a huge mistake by saying lets just be friends, because now that I know him, I have fallin for him, and I'm so lost. Hes like the only boy that I'm able to trust and I'm just so happy when I'm with him and nothing is awkward, it just seems right when I'm with him! So now heres the problem, this is where I need your advice!!! Homecoming ends, and I dont get a text from him all week, but I never texted him either... he did respond to the little things I would say to him on facebook, he wasnt ignoring me or anything. But I think by me saying I want to be friends may have made him back off a bit. So then we go on a retreat, he makes no effort to go up n talk to me, so I went to talk to him and he was chatty, he hugged me, no awkwardness. Now its the week after the retreat and so I txted him, he texted me back, he fell asleep while texting me, and proceeds to message me today apologizing for not texting me back after my last text and that he fell asleep. We still joke around the same, and throw sarcastic comments at eachother etc. but my dad told me the balls in my court.... What do u think I should do? I asked him to go to our friends house with me tommorow night, he said he can't because he has an AP class he has to study for cuz he has a test this thursday and its a big deal, hes trying to get into Notre Dame. What he said was true, he really does have big test thursday! If your wondering how I know if he likes me: Its the little things he does like 1) at the dance there was a rose on the ground and he picked it up and gave it to me. 2) he would tell me to bring jacket to game cuz it was cold the night before. 3) he told me I looked pretty one night. 4)he made a music playlists of the songs I like, cuz we both like rock and rap!he did that for our car ride to the homecoming dance. Its just stuff like that, plus me n him have so much in common
I'm really sorry that theres so much to read...If you could advice would be great. If you have any questions feel free to ask me!!
This is not what you want to hear but my kids have both gone though this and maybe I can save you some pain. He may like you but if he is going away to college and you have another year in high school you will have a lot more pain in your life cause college is not all about study. Fact is college kids like to party and go out with girls or guys and they forget about the ones they leave behind .Enjoy high school you will miss it when you graduate and you miss out on so much if you get tied down to one boy. Stick with just being friends.
I do agree with you on the whole save myself the grief cuz hes going away to college. Thats definatly crossed my mind, and it's a bit of a concern for me! I will definatly take your advice and keep it with me. Heres something I didnt add: I met Ryan at church, we go to a HUGE youth group of like 400 teens, me n him are pretty involed with stuff, I do the big skits he has been a witness, me n him have good religious morals in our lives, haha of course we do the average teenage stuff, not always good! If I ended up dating him or something, it wouldn't be all serious, I'd keep it easy since he is going away and I don't want to get hurt or vise versa! I might as well take that risk and just see where it takes me, if it works out it does, if not, then thers other fish in the sea haha :)
My perpsective having raised 2 teenagers is....the moment your in right now always seems like your whole world. For now it is...life happnes and things change. You will move on to meet and date other guys as well, and he will go on to meet other girls. If its meant to be it will work itself out over time.
In the meantime....ENJOY your teenage years! Have fun, go out, date just dont worry about each date being your forever guy. It is time to have fun and enjoy being young! you can date and have fun without getting serious. All the while please hold onto tho the religious values! Dont let peer pressure sway you from what you know is right.
These are the years to enjoy your life and friends, dont worry about where the future for every frined you nake lies, just enjoy the moment.
This will all make for good memories as you get older. But one day Mr. Right will drop in your lap, and you will barely remember 'whats his names, name' lol.
Boy this is tough. Part of me feels like you should just go for it. The other part is like don't get serious with one year left with him. Almost always long distance relationships will not work out. I say continue to be friends with him. If you have such a great time with him as friends, why ruin it? I agree with the other posts...continue to have fun in school instead of tying yourself down to just one person. Have fun with the entire church group! Good luck. Protect your heart.
thanks so much for the advice!! I really appreciate, ha this is the tough time in life where you just need an adults view and advice on things, so It's definatly very helpful talking to all of you about this! I will definatly be careful, and I guess that maybe I should focus on just being friends with him for now, and if for some reason he would end up being the one, then I know that somehow it would work out, haha I doubt he's the one though being that I'm only a junior! I'll definatly keep the religious morals in my life, I've learned so much through it. Thank you so much :)
I agree with the others as well. You are still young, you have plenty of time to have a relationship. You do sound like you guys have a great time the way things are now, just keep it that way. Maybe later down the road you will meet up again for something more serious.
Sometimes it is good to get advice from other adults other than your parents. You seem like you have a great head on your shoulders, I'm sure you will make the right decision.
Animals, what animals? My children just have alot of hair!
I hope I get to see him when he gets back from college the year that he goes. HAHA he promised me he'd take a picture of Jimmy Clawsen, hes the QB for notre dame, and hes really cute LOL I'm kinda like ohh great what happens when he leaves, but I guess life goes on.... I hope I at least get to always stay friends with him! For now I'll take ya'lls advice and keep it at friends, I guess if its meant to be it will work itself out! I've always told my mom that I don't need a boy to define me, n it's true, It's like ya'll said , I'm 17 and have a whole life ahead of me! :)
The future holds no guarantees. At the same time so much of it depends on the choices you make. Long distance is tough but if you build a relationship with him and it has the legs to go the distance, it's worth it.
I just married the guy I started dating when I was just about to turn 17. 3 of the 10 years we've been together were long distance we used to take the bus to visit each other weekends, which if you have ever ridden a bus, a 6 hour road trip becomes a 10-12 hour one He is two years younger than me, but we both finished school when we were 17 because our birthdays are in November. When he graduated after I had worked hard, saved up and gotten our first apartment, we moved in together.
There is no rushing into any of these things. Relationship take hard work and patience. It takes several years of getting to know each other. Baby steps Good luck, just follow you heart and use your head remember you are creating your past as you are living your present. Have no regrets, what you experience molds who you become.
"Try to get beside yourself, This tearing at your insides, If you end up on the wrong side Always standing so strong. Sharpen up your teeth Your dreams are more than worth defending"
I got married when I was only 17. That was way too young. However, we have been together for the past 16 years and still very much happy. It's certainly had it's ups and downs though. If I had it to do over again, yes, I would have married my man but I would have waited until I was a bit older.
Take your time, take life one day at a time and don't be in a hurry to grow up. Playing housewife at 17 was not the best thing I could have done in my life. I had to wait until I was older to go to community college to get my nursing degree. All of that housework, cooking, cleaning, school and taking care of babies was very difficult.
I had to wait until my kids were a bit older before I could start raising my dogs.
Everything will come in it's own good time. Don't bog yourself down with responsibility that you don't have to. EDUCATION FIRST; like I tell my kids, that's something that no one can ever take from you. There's always time for the rest.
Best of luck and no worries...you seem very intelligent! Take care!
Friends will step in when the rest of the world steps out.
in my point of view sometimes staying single is better then dating when your at that age. because most people at that age dont want a long lasting relationship. infact they dont even know what they want yet. and that can cause hurt to some people. love has to go both ways for a relationship to work. and sometimes were blinde to this and cant see if the connection is there or not.
you have such a long lfe inhead of you...why be so focused on getting a relationship right now when you have the rest of your life to do so. you should be focused on bettering your education and doing something with your life to become successful. then you can work on a relationship. :)