I found this and thought it was cute. Sorry about the Cap Lock...I copied and pasted, didn't want to retype the whole thing..... TEN COMMANDMENTS OF HOUSEBREAKING 1) THOU SHALT NOT BRING HOME A PUPPY OR ADULT DOG AND EXPECT IT TO KNOW IMMEDIATELY WHERE THE POTTY IS. Every time they move from one home to another they need to be taught where to go. 2) THOU SHALT NOT EXPECT A YOUNG PUPPY OF 8-16 WEEKS TO BE HOUSEBROKEN. That's like expecting a one year old child to be completely potty trained -- It just AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. 3) THOU SHALT NOT ALLOW THE NEW PUPPY TO MAKE ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND RUN LOOSE AND THEN WONDER WHY THE DOG GOES BACK TO THE SAME SPOT TO MAKE. You will have to disinfect the house thoroughly where he has done his business. White vinegar in the water will help neutralize the smell because he WILL GO BACK to the spot that smells. 4) THOU SHALT NOT YELL AT THE PUP (DOG) WHEN HE/SHE GOES IN THE WRONG SPOT. Better than yelling, you need to just clean it up thoroughly and put the dog where he is supposed to go. Dogs and most animals learn much better by the PRAISE AND REWARD system. 5) THOU SHALT NOT KEEP THE YOUNG PUPS 6 MONTHS OR YOUNGER CONFINED FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME. They are too young until at least 6 months to hold it for that long. Take them out to make frequently and generously praise and reward them for going where you want them to. 6) THOU SHALT NOT PUT A LONG HAIRED TOY DOG OUT IN THE RAIN TO MAKE UNLESS YOU WANT TO USE A HAIR DRYER WHEN THEY COME BACK IN. To do so could cause a chill and tonsilitis and/or tracheobronchitis. 7) THOU SHALT NOT EXPECT AN UN-NEUTERED OR UN-SPAYED DOG TO HAVE PROPER POTTY MANNERS. It is only nature telling them (boys and girls) to leave calling cards and scents for the other sex to notice. Chin up, if they were goats, they would constantly PEE on their heads to make themselves attractive to the opposite sex. 8) THOU SHALT HAVE A POTTY PLACE GATED OFF FOR YOUR YOUNG PUPPY AT LEAST UNTIL 6 MONTHS OF AGE. It's unrealistic to expect a young puppy to be completely trained until then. 9) THOU SHALT SPEND A LOT OF TIME WATCHING THE DOG WHEN THE DOG IS NEW TO THE HOUSE TO CORRECT BAD HABITS BEFORE THEY START. 10) THOU SHALT READ THESE COMMANDMENTS INSTEAD OF BEING ANGRY AT THE DOG AND MEND YOUR WAYS. A dog wants nothing more than to please you.