cricketmom, Sooooo...... What part don't you agree with? ---------------------------------------------------------- >"Huntersmom, wendy, catlover, rednosered.. and I'm sure other women out there, I'm glad you put your marriage before your pets. Before your kids would be a different story. Kittys Mom, you scare me! "I tell folk that I can smack them, and lock them in cages and not make the 5 o'clock news". I hope you are kidding. My wife and I fight over our dogs at times, but usually about which pup to keep, show, studs, etc."< ltlgto ------------------------------------------------------------ That there aren't other women out there that put their marriage before their pets? Putting your kids first in a marriage is wrong? That Kittys Mom shouldn't scare me? That my wife and I don't argue about our dogs? And when have I said anything mean to you? You're one of my favorite Texans (LOL)! ltlgto
ltlgto....................You have never said anything mean to me. I think, let's just say a marriage was on the rocks. The man used the dog/dogs to complain about, when actually that was not his only problem. A woman with a dog should not choose a man that was a royal pain in the butt, over her dog just because that is the one thing he complained about the most. You know what, I am having a hard time explaining my way out of this, as you more than likely have realized.
cricketmom, I agree 100% with you.... You are having a hard time explaining your way out of this (LOL)! I know what you mean though. Complaining about the dogs as an excuse when there are probably other underlying issues in the marriage is a p*ss poor excuse. But, when it gets to that point, there are probably a lot of p*ss poor excuses being used! ltlgto
Some rich people have changed their wills and left millions to their pets... read the bottom of the article. There'a chimp about to inherit 100 million, a dog worth over 300 million. http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/07/09/1089000354676.html?from=storylhs&oneclick=true
My boyfriend, who I've been dating for 14 months, is allergic to cats. He can play with my Annabelle but he can't sleep over. One day we were at the pet store playing with the kittens (go figure) when he made a comment about how he will never live with a cat. We wound up in a big fight, because I was like "So we're just going to date for the rest of our lives????" I was hurt that he would just assume I would get rid of the cat and that we wouldn't discuss other options, like allergy shots, etc. When I told him how I felt (and he clarified for me that he had tried allergy shots as a kid but they didn't work), we decided to compromise. If things progress, he'll try the allergy shots to see how they work. In the meantime, I'm even more attached to my cat--she is like my child--than I was when we had this conversation. I can't ever imagine giving her up/abandoning her. No one would dote on her the way I do. Plus, she loves to go outside, and I'm always very vigilante about going out to check on her and making sure she doesn't stay out too long. She'd be miserable as an indoor only cat, which is what most people do. So I guess the point of this is that I don't have a clue what I'm going to do if my bf ever proposes, which I hope he does!
Gotta jump in this again cuz I'm sooo bored (kids are taking the longest nap..lol). For me, my biggest pet peeve are people that meet people and know they are a certain way and are okay with it when they meet them, but then when they start a relationship with them they expect them to change. For lack of a better example: strippers. I hear all the time about guys that met their girlfriend at a strip club. They thought she was 'sexy' and that it was great. And then they started to date, and it was a different story. They wanted them to stop. I don't think that's fair. It's who they were before, and they knew that. Same with animals. I think if someone has animals when they meet someone, and they are okay with the animals, it is totally not okay if they started a relationship and then all of a sudden they wanted those animals gone. Now if someone met someone that didn't like their animals right off, I think that is their right. Not everyone likes animals. But if it's something that is going to cause an issue, I don't think it's right to pursue a relationship until there is an understanding from both sides. Okay...now with marriage. I think in marriage, everything is a partnership. Everything is equal. Everyone should have a say in everything because you share a life together. I think that if spouse has a problem with the pets, their concerns should really be taken into consideration. I absolutely love pets. When we move I plan on having a farm. And at least 3 dogs. I would even like to give it a go at showing (once I learn..lol) but if hubby had concerns, I would really listen to him and try to find a common ground because I love him and wouldn't want him to ever think that it was 'my way or the highway'. I don't think people should automatically get rid of their animals because their spouse said so, but I think they should at least talk about the issues. If it's something that can be fixed without getting rid of the animal, that should be the first move. But I dunno..I'm kinda anal about all that stuff. I really believe my family comes before animals, and my kids come before all.
Depends on the dog Itlgto...All have been crate trained since day one. All are house dogs. Living room privileges go to the older, less spastic dogs. The 1 1/2 yr. old is a submissive peeing problem, some are in cages more than others. All are lock down at night and when I'm not home. As to smacking them. One is a problem barker, oh once a week/month she get a clout to the body, somewhere. I've never smacked Kitty. Bear got smacked for biting me. Depends. I was kidding... but w/ large dogs you maintain order or pay for it. Usually I raise my voice and that works. After you tell a LOUD barking dog quiet 6 times at 3 am when it is kenneled next to your neighbor's bedroom window...These aren't Poms. Sometimes they get a smack. I don't feel good about it when it happens.
sorry if you guys think its abnormal for me to say i would divorce over the animals. i have been drawn to animals since i was a teeny tot. there is not an animal on this earth that i don't just adore. it is something that is just in me. hence the reason for my job, and for being on this forum. i can picture myself living without a mate, but i would die if i had to live without my animals, not just the current ones i have, but any future ones i may have.if i was asked to give them up it would be like a huge part of my life was being sacrificed. but like i said before, i would never get involved in the first place with someone who didn't love animals. my husband and i do fight over the subject. it's usually because i want more than what we have. but i am realistic and know that our house cannot accomodate what i want. i was truly put here to live on a farm. too bad god didn't give me a bankroll to go along with that :)
Also when dating, a person can date a real phony. For months a guy/girl can come to your house and kissy kissy with your dog or your cat or whatever, and then when the vows are said, everything changes. The dog is banned to the backyard and the cat is kicked outside to fend for itself. What would an animal lover to do?!? I speak for myself only, but it would be "Adios" to the phony-balony. Sacred vows or not. My opinion? If a person has such a intolerance to animals, can't be such a nice person to people in general or kids either. Someone mentioned about finding a partner at the animal shelter. I say "Great Idea!" I also found out that dog parks are great, too.
"If a person has such a intolerance to animals, can't be such a nice person to people in general or kids either." Amen to that! I personally don't think I could be with someone who doesn't like animals. How could you not like animals? It's one thing to be allergic, but come on!
No I would NOT leave my husband for my pet. I am in this marriage for life. I believe in sticking it thru and I wouldnt have married him if I didnt think he was my soul mate. I love animals but my husband is my other half and there is nothing that can brake us. That is just me though....Thankfully we both agree on having dogs and we both have long term plans with our future dog.
I think both Scout and PitPat2AZ (sp) hit the nail on the head. Like Scout said, probably would never have been with the person if they didn't like animals anyway. PitPat, people can be very phony. That is very true. It's also wrong of them to pretend to accept your animals, kids, whatever and as soon as you are married think they can make you change. Totally unfair. I am very allergic to cats, although I love them to death. I have asthma type attacks when I'm around them. However, I have lived with some before and with allergy meds and time it was fine. I think my immune system got used to it. Now, it's been so long I would probably die if I spent much time around one at first. My ex was a total jerk. The only good thing I can say about him was that he loved animals. Too bad he didn't feel the same way about his kids or marriage vows. I didn't leave him because of our dogs, but I damn sure fought for them when we got divorced. I would do it again too. Someone else said earlier that like having children this is something that should be discussed before marriage and I totally agree. Because it would be unfair to do the phony thing.
ltlgto...............I was just glad to get out of that situation I put myself in one piece. That is more like something my husband would do. Open his mouth and think about it later. Plus my Maltese had her puppies yesterday, so I didn't come back on here. I do agree with what you said. Whew!
Scout.......................I would never marry a man that didn't like dogs either. I think that speaks volumes about the kind of person he would be. I have known people that did not like dogs, and every single one of them except one turned out to be people I did not want to be around for a whole lot of reasons. My husband might like to give the world the impression that he doesn't approve of all of my babies, but he and I know better. He loves each and every one of them. Those were real tears falling from his eyes the day I came home with Cricket when her leg was broken, and I told him the vet said we could have her put to sleep, because it could not be fixed. He said, "no, we can't ! She is part of us." If my husband leaves here it won't be because of my babies, it will be those car races he is addicted to.