I have noticed the rude replies as well. I know there is much to learn here and there is always someone who knows a bit more or somethign different. I try to just stick with that aspect and filter through the rest. I have not been here long but have been here long enough to know that a difference of opinion can be a problem so I simply keep my opinion to myself for the most part. I do not reply often and if I ever have a question you can bet I will think a long while before asking it as I certainly do not want to have to get into it with one of the more shall we say "gruff" members here.

I replied to the topic about the 11 yr old child because that was just too much for me to sit back on. The way that kid was treated by a few members here was simply appauling and I felt I needed to speak my peace being a mother and all. It should not matter what age a person is we are all human beings and should treat each other with a bit more dignity and respect if for no other reason then that is how we would all like to be treated by others. So what if someone feels they should hit their dog. Maybe we don't all agree with it but do we have to be so cross about a simple difference of opinion? Why must so many of you jump on each new person thinking they are trouble makers? Just because someone views things differently then we do does not mean they deserve that it simply reaffirms what we all already know...WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. It would be a pretty boreing world if we all thought, felt, acted, walked, talked, dress and trained our animals the same way. I have seen a few members get down right brutal with new members and it is really sad. I think the only reason I have not gotten worked over yet is because I stay pretty quiet. Though I would not be a bit surprised if after today I am not focused on as well. Ignorance from children is something to be expected at times because they are still learning how to inter relate to others and every day is a learning expierence but to see this from grown adults really makes me wonder about the influence we are having on our younger generation. Why is it if you disagree you cannot simply say so and end it there? Why is it some of you feel that a lynch mob is necessary to make your point. I have found that by simply ignoring someone you are at odds with it avoids problems. By being nasty when you reply it only starts a big fight and the ones starting the fight off are the ones that tend to scream "troll" or "troublemaker" They can't make trouble unless you let them.

some good posts..pro and con...I especailly liked Icy's very well thought out responce..I dont like being rude..and dont yell Troll too quicky...But some times you can tell and some times it takes a little time..And truth does come out in the end..its hard to keep the lies all straight...So..Please dont get upset at some who speak up and tell things like they see it..they are not the ones to worry about..in my eyes its the ones you never hear from who cause the most damage.Tosamom...I seem to remember a long long thread started by you that the same people helped you with your problems and offered a tremendious amount of support..So...The reason they didnt attack you and lable you as a troll is because they have a good sence of what is a legitamit post and what is not..I think there is some fantastic people who post here..I think we are lucky to have such modivated, driven, well skilled, and devoted people who share knowledge to others..So..some might not sugar coat the obvious..eveyone should be adult enough to stay or go if they so choose..and the ones who stay understand the ways of internet furom life..they can give a sharp post...but they cant kill or eat you...so..whats the big deal...if you start off poorly doesnt mean you cant turn it all around if you wanted to...Many people who ARE trolls know the buttons to push to get the pot all stired up..hitting, cross breeding are some good examples of what will wake up a post sure as anything..I say...take all with a grain of salt..

i read all of your posts,
i agree with some of each of your replies.
i did not suggest anyone needed to be coddled, i am saying that, not just in the post mentioned, some people can be harsh and that causes others to not want to post.

i have had a great response form many of you, and i am very quick to thank you for each of them. those who have been kind have been thanked. those who have helped me to see what i was doing may have been wrong, were also thanked because they did it tackfully.,

no-one needs to kiss anyone's butt here, my only reason for starting this was to bring it to folks attentions that there is a nice way to say everything. no butt kissing in nice, it is just respectful.

shiny- what you replied to was exactly how i felt. i agree with the advice, but the delivery was a little off.
just because some one is tired of reading about the saem thing, doesn't give them the right to knock them down.

"a little pat" doesn't seem to imply being beaten with a ball of nails....................

a suggestion to solve the problem was probably what someone was looking for.

yes, forums do allow for differences in experiences; but they shouldn't make anyone apprehensive about posting either.

again, thanks for the replies.

hope everyone and their babies are doing well.

If she had said she gave an occassional pat on his bum, then there wouldn't have been an issue. But that wasn't what she wrote, and therefore it was sketchy from post one since it was coming off as near abuse if not already abuse.

Something along the lines of having beat it's little bum everytime he made a mistake, and the owner just couldn't understand why he wasn't learning.

***Edited By: mafiaprincess on 5/29/2005 1:44:00 PM***
Reason: add

Think of it this way...you wouldn't hit a dog so why is it okay to hit a person...with words. I agree that some people here are far from tactful with their responses and really I see no reason for it, aggression breeds aggression. I don't think anyone is asking to be coddled. I think a fair amount of respect is all we need here. Even if somebody is posting a question with rough words why respond in the same manner? You are only lowering yourself to their level.

I was thinking about the way people post their replies on here too, some people practically get cruxified for things, like owning/buying/breeding mixed dogs. I have a mixed dog, would not trade her for anything in the world but it never occured to me that a mixed dog was messing up the breeds, etc, etc. I have learned a lot on here and most of the people are very friendly and knowledgeable when it comes to animals. Some people come across like know-it-alls, but I guess that could just be my interpretation.
Anyway, hope everyone had a nice weekend, my weekend sucked but I'll be alright. Where's my precious little designer mutt? I need to cuddle. :) She is the best, if it weren't for her, I'd probably be ready to jump off of a bridge. (Just being dramatic, but you know what I mean.)
Anyway, night all!!

I never thought about it either, Chile. I do understand what they are saying and I too, have learned a lot here. I just wish people could be nicer about it. I think sometimes people do not realize how they come across to others.

Sorry. The wussification of America!! Most of the slams and disagreements I have witnessed have been regarding back yard breeder threads, designer breeds, and stuff people already had their minds made up about...ear cropping, declawing etc. Other stuff too..just my opinion.

My advice: find that grain of salt. One can never truly know what the person actually thinks that is typing. I'm a good storyteller and have a big vocabulary and lots of dog experience but yet I come across as a well intentioned yo-yo. Again..toughen up Buttercup!!

obispo- that is what i mean. why did you even have to reply with "toughen up"?
why say wussy?
maybe you're just angry about something in your life, and since you can't directly see anyone, you take this forum as the opportunity to "release your weaknesses"...if that's the case, i will say a prayer for you...

Tosa-dont waste your anger on some people who may say something snide or off the wall. They may be saying it as a joke, or just to entertain themselves-who knows! But I have caught a thread of yours here and there and want to say the pics I saw were very beutiful! How are you doing anyways? I know you were having a tough time with him.

xoxoxo

***Edited By: scout1 on 5/31/2005 3:02:02 PM***
Reason: cuz

Sometimes it's hard to express yourself well when you have only "words" (impersonal words at that) to do so.

I generally try to remain neutral, but have been known to play with a troll or two.

Then there was the time that I went off like a missle at a new poster and really bashed her, based on her first post. I later apologized, but the damage was done. I generally watch a thread that's upsetting to me before I reply. That night, for some reason, I didn't. Oh well, live and learn.

I've also taken more than a few hits on the forum, but that's life.

obispo- that is what i mean. why did you even have to reply with "toughen up"?
why say wussy?
maybe you're just angry about something in your life, and since you can't directly see anyone, you take this forum as the opportunity to "release your weaknesses"...if that's the case, i will say a prayer for you...


TM, when I read Obi's post I did not think it was offensive. Now, here you are advising him about his private life, wanting him to explain every word in his post. That is how all of this starts.

Hello..I am incited to comment again...
I would say that Never once have i felt i could not write my opinion on a post..I am not bitter hung up or socially inept...With that said..I know not all topics are for the faint of heart..so if you want to discuss in a discussion board no one is stoping you except you...I have the thought that I follow in any forum i post on and that is no one pays my bills so no one can dictate to me any thing in my house hold. Sure..this is not the place for talking about purposly breeding crossbreeds or mutts for lack of a better word. No one wants to hear that your abusive or a puppy mill...You will have questions asked and if you cant hang..you will leave..but it isnt because you own a mutt..no one cares...just what hell did the mutt go through is what some have issues with. Many dont like designer breeding...I dont either..but I have nothing against the pooch itself..just the proocess on purpose to make a buck./...and many dont see that is the ultimate message behind many posts that are "precieved" as attacking and rude. So..come on...dont point a finger at some one for doing what you said in the begining you thought you could not do..(give an aposing opinion) and then in the end make rude comments...I for one dont think it is an issue..but if you do i say get used to giving your views and opinion and if some one asks you a question you have 2 choices..either answer it or you dont..I hope you can get my drift...Take care all and lets play nice

I totally agree Huron. When I first saw this thread I thought it was going to start some trouble. So far we have had a troll in the thread, and the orignal poster is now doing what she was complaining about. You can't sit back and repremand others for their opinions, and that is all it is. Nothing on this forum is carved in stone. You can usually tell what a thread is about by the topic. Stay away from the ones you think may be a problem for you, or accept/ignore what the others say.

***Edited By: cricketmom on 5/31/2005 8:44:19 AM***
Reason: cause

Tosa..please no prayers. I gave at the office...my karma is good. I just don't like whining. Upset OK, crying fine but if you are so unhappy with the so called experts and personal opinions expressed here and within this site I would advise you to not pursue the armchair psychoanalysis route...might not like what you find. I'm a softie, others might not be so forthcoming with their "true" feelings. cheers. e

Okay just to kind of interject for a moment and say something about a topic i started "dog people hard to get along with" or sometihng similar. everyone except for like two people claimed they great chaps and everyone loved them. HMMM???

I never see arguing like this except on dog, religious and political forums.

I know some of my replies are rude and some are aggressive. but that is just me. I like me. I get things done. I don't really try to hurt people, It really isn't my point i just wanna get from point a to point b as effeciently as i can. and hey if someone needs a little pressure put on em' so what. take it easy it's a dog forum. not a survivors of some un godly trauma happened in my life meeting.

***Edited By: gunny on 5/31/2005 11:05:01 PM***
Reason: e

Lol Gunny! Don't forget the 'parenting sites'. Believe me, you don't want to talk in a forum with a bunch of hormonal preggo women..hehe. I got a bit psycho when I was preggo. Memories...sigh..lol

Mary had a little lamb.........

his fleece was white as snow and.............