When I said I did not think I could stand to go through it alone, I was saying what I felt but if the vet had not told me to stay home I would have gone up there and probably gone to pieces. I think she was thinking of me and the shape I was in when she called and told me. But then I know she did not want me to see him like that. I probably would have never got over that sight of him not being able to stand or raise his head. He more than likely would not have known me at that point. He was close to being in a coma.
You're not the only one who wasn't present at the time of the procedure. When we had our pup put down, we'd had him less than a month. (If one month hurt that much, I can't imagine what 15 years would feel like!) I had two kids in the car bawling their eyes out. When the vet asked if I wanted to be present, about all I could choke out was, "I'd rather remember him alive."